Stress and Family
Love, passion, conflict, argument —
it’s how we relate to each other. It’s how we bond and learn about one another.
It’s how we develop as people and as a family.
Whether it is an unexpected
illness, bad grades, financial difficulties, or arguments over trash duty, it’s
inevitable that each family will face stress together. Families who are
prepared for these trying times emerge stronger and more prepared for future
Here are some tips for helping your
family handle stress and for dealing with stress that comes from your familial
Do Not Project
You do a good job of keeping a
happy face at work, but maybe when you come home, you let your family have it.
You may be inadvertently taking out your stress on your family and doing harm
without realizing it.
If you’ve just ended a particularly
stressful workday, pause before you walk through your door at night. Do some
deep breathing or listen to some calming music. This helps get you in a better
mood before you see your partner and children. They will thank you for not
No one enjoys household chores, but
they are things that have to be done. Evenly dividing chores like sweeping,
taking out the trash, vacuuming, washing the dog, and raking the yard can
prevent future conflict.
If everyone pitches in, no one
person will feel put upon. It also allows for teaching moments with younger
children so they learn not to become frustrated when they aren’t fully capable
of completing a task. In the process they will learn skills they will need to
live on their own.
Dinner hour is one of the most
important times in a family’s life. On nights you’re not rushing off for ballet
or soccer practice, sitting in on a parent-teacher conference, or meeting about
an upcoming charity event, plan for your family to have dinner together. You
get more than one good thing out of this. Research
shows that families who eat together eat more fruits and vegetables than
families who eat individually.
Also, a 2008 study from Brigham Young University
also found that those adults who sit down to a family meal in the evening
reported their jobs to be more satisfying and healthier, suggesting dinner
itself can reduce stress.
This time together provides an
opportunity for communication and relationship building. It allows you to find
out about things that might be causing your children stress. You can help them
prevent future problems and teach them how to respond to the pressures they are
You don’t have to plan elaborate
trips to theme parks or grand weekend outings. Setting aside one weekend a
month or one night a week to spend as a family keeps communication channels
open and allows you all to bond as a family. Play board games, do an art
project, or go for a walk — it doesn’t have to be complicated or even cost
You know your children and spouse
best. When they are acting differently or don’t seem to be themselves, you will
likely pick up on that quickly. Instead of avoiding the obvious, ask what’s
going on. Moody teenagers may rebuff your query, but letting them know that
you’re available to talk may encourage them to come around.