Being unable to conceive can be frustrating and
stressful for any couple. Undergoing multiple fertility treatments can also
create both physical and emotional stress, as well as financial burden.
Many couples find that fertility treatments drive them
apart. Others find it brings them to a place of understanding and love. Couples
who are having trouble trying to conceive should take time to talk with a
doctor or fertility specialist.
More importantly, couples should talk to each other.
Open, honest communication can give both partners a chance to discuss their
thoughts, desires, and fears. This can help couples determine which treatment,
if any, is best for their situation.
Make an Appointment With One Another
Set aside time each day when the two of you can discuss:
- the latest results of your
- how you’re feeling
- what’s next
The National Infertility Association
suggests the “twenty minute rule”. Set a time limit to talk about the issue,
and then move on. That way both of you get to be heard and have a chance to
really listen as the other speaks. However, the time limit keeps infertility
from becoming the total focus of all your time together.
Respect the Way Your Partner Is Coping
The way you are coping is the best way you can manage. The
way your partner is coping is likewise the best they can do at present.
Remembering and genuinely embracing these realities will enhance both
communication and compassion.
If one partner makes all the doctor’s appointments and
calls for all the lab results, the other partner should handle the bills or
insurance claims. Doing this makes sure no one person feels they are
shouldering all the responsibility. It creates a feeling of working together.
Decide How Much You Will Share
It’s important that you two agree on how much you will
tell family and friends. A good rule of thumb is to follow what the most
private person desires. However, if one partner needs to vent with a best
friend, sibling, or parent, it’s important to respect that connection when
making the decision. It’s vital that you both stick to that agreement. If you
would like an exception, it’s important to ask permission. That helps you
maintain a consistent level of trust with your partner.
Get Support From the Outside.
When you admit to one another that you can’t be
everything to each other, it helps avoid hurt feelings. The Mayo Clinic suggests that you feel free to
seek out support from a:
- support group
- medical professional
- mother or father who went through
the same difficulties in their quest to become a parent